The Shell
by BlackRoseWitch96
Summary: The young Lovino Vargas was damaged as a child which causes him to create an outer wall, a shell. He learns this is his only way of survival in protecting himself and more importantly his brother. Will Lovino ever let anyone tear down these walls that he has fortified himself?
1. Chapter 1

"Stop please nonno. I'll be good. I won't act up again. Ple-"

"Silence, you retched child. You have to behave like your sweet, little brother. You will have to be strong for him. You live to protect him, he will be the one to bring fortune to our family. You are **worthless.** "

A strong whip gashed the younger boy's back. He sobbed heavily as blood ran down his back to which he began coughing hystercially, trying to catch his breath. The older man kneeled down, gripping the boy's chin to make him look into his eyes.

"Stop with the crying. You can't show weakness. Not in this world, I won't stop until you quit your crying!" Another whip this time against his arm. He tried to stop his tears, he bit his lip as hard as he can to stop. Blood soon dripping from his mouth as his body began to shake due to the amount of blood loss. His arms were hurting from being tied above his head. Blood covered the floor beneath him, his naked body covered in his own blood. He fought back his tears as much as he can before looking up towards his grandfather.

"Nonno, I'm sorry. I'll stop being weak. Just no more..please.." The older man stared at his grandson with menacing eyes before his face lightened up and he smiled.

"Oh, Lovino, you're such a strong boy. Don't let anyone affect your strong will." He stood up and untied his wrists. Then ruffled his hair lovingly. "I know you'll be strong. You can't let anybody in. Family is everything, okay?" Then he walked upstairs leaving Lovino alone in the cold basement. His body was shaking profusely as he tried to stand himself up, but his knees would buck out beneath him. Leaving him weak in his own blood and tears, his coughing was only getting worse as blood covered his lips. He needed to become stronger. He needed to show his grandfather he could protect his beloved younger brother. He needed to create a harden shell around his fragile state. No more weakness. No more crying. Just a hollow shell, living his pathetic life for one purpose, Feliciano.

 **~Eight Years Later~**

"Fratello, wake up! I need you to pick up Ludwig so we can take him to school with us."

"Ugh, Feli, give me a second to wake up. We'll pick up the potato bastard, just stop whining." Lovino rolled away from his brother with the blanket over his head until a sudden light blinded him. Feliciano stood there with the blanket in his hand with the most carismastic smile. Lovino scoffed at his younger brother before sitting up and yawning.

"Were you up late again, Fratello?"

"Feli, it doesn't concern you even if I was. Don't worry about it, okay?"

"But-"

"Enough Feli. Damnit, I just woke up and if you don't let me wake up I won't pick up your potato boyfriend, Capiche?"

The younger boy nodded before exiting the room. Lovino smiled at his brother's compliance whenever his boyfriend got involved. He stood up and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower before heading downstairs towards the kitchen. Feliciano already had some bruschetta on the table with extra tomatoes ontop-just the way Lovino liked it. Lovino looked through the morning paper before letting out a heavy sigh when he saw the criminal activity increase in their neighborhood. 'Just great,' he thought. He tossed it aside before finishing his breakfast and coffee. He grabbed his black leather jacket and keys before signaling for Feliciano to follow.

Once they made it to school, Feli would get out and meet up with his other friend, Kiku Honda. He was a transfer student from Japan, but he was popular with most of the students who actually enjoyed his company, especially Heracles and Sadik. Those two had a small obsession over Kiku since he transferred. They would argue all the time over who Kiku likes better or who he would rather date. Pointless conversations that definitley fit their childish attitudes.

Despite their immature behaviour, Lovino found them as good income in his _buisness_. They owe him money for his last inconvience two days ago. The longer they make him wait, the more agitated he becomes. Lovino sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before cutting the engine of his car.

He exited the car, shoving his hands in his pocket for some warmth. Fall was already chilly as ever this year. Below average tempertures or something like that. Lovino made his way towards the two, who were already bickering about hanging out with Kiku tonight. They both ceased speaking as soon as Lovino stopped infront of them.

"Hey, Lovino. We were both wondering where you were actually." Sadik stated with uncertainty, glancing a small look towards Heracles.

"Yeah, we actually got your money," came abruptly from Heracles mouth.

"Okay, hand it over. I don't have all day." Lovino held his hand out but there was no movement from the two before him. He clenched his fist and punched Heracles in the face making him fall to the ground with a bloody lip. " Did I stutter? Where is it? Don't lie to me!"

"We forgot it at my place. I'm sorry Lovino, please just stop by after school and we'll give it to you." Sadik explained before looking over at Heracles who was holding his face in pain.

Everyone was now whispering and staring at the three infront of them. Lovino stood up straight and brushed himself off, as if he was the one on the ground.. He nodded towards the two before walking off into the school. He could hear his name around every corner. _Lovino is so scary. He's a monster, how does his adorable little brother deal with him? He needs someone to teach him a lesson in manners, that's for sure._ He ignored it all. He didn't need people to tell him how truly weak he was. He promised his nonno before he passed that'd he be strong for Feliciano. Feliciano was his life, nothing else mattered.

Right?

 **_This is my first fanfic so I know it's not the best. I don't mind some input from other writers on how to improve and maybe some ideas for the story itself. Thanks for the read though!**


	2. Chapter 2

Once the day began, Lovino started feeling a bit irritated with how everyone was still continuing about how he punched Heracles this morning. Hell even Feli came up to him before his first class to ask why he did such a cruel thing to one of his brother's 'friends'. Lovino became fed up with how everyone finds him the bad guy all the time. "I wish I could just-"

Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted when the teacher called on him to answer the following math equation on the board. With an roll of the eyes, Lovino stood before walking towards the whiteboard in front of him. He easily began writing down step-by-step equations, which soon led to the answer. The correct one the teacher informed.

"Very well done, Lovino. You may now take your seat. Anyone have any questions on how to get to this solution?"

As Lovino turned to take his seat, someone from the back row raised their hand before yelling out-not even being fully addressed on by the teacher. "How do we know that's the right procedure to take? Lovino's work leading up to the answer could be inaccurate."

It was the annoying jock, Alfred F. Jones, he has always been the goofball of the class. Never has he ever given 100% in anything he does, except sports. He always tries to start fights with Lovino to prove who's the stronger one of the 11th grade. He's an adopted child, so he has never had a real family before. So in return, he puts on the macho, tough guy look to shadow the pain he hides so deep in his heart.

"Alfred, the equation, along with the procedure, is correct…" the rest became lost to Lovino as he focused his attention towards his seat. He hated school more than anything but not before glaring over in Alfred's direction, which he received a glare back in return.

Lovino sat down with a small sigh, before focusing his attention to the window. The sky was as blue as ever on this chilly day. Not a single cloud in sight, just the vastness of blue that gives such a serenity to the ground beneath it. The sun's rays glistening off everything, masking away the negatives in the world. When Lovino caught sight of the birds in the sky, he saw how they freely flew through the open sky. Soon, the sadness, loneliness and hurt Lovino felt was washed away only to be replaced by envy. The envy he felt for the creatures that didn't have to live their life for someone else. The envy he felt for the people that didn't have to live everyday regretting the mistakes of his past. The envy he felt about Feliciano, who can truly smile everyday without a care in the world. He just wanted to feel truly happy in his life. Love or wanted by someone, another human being, who saw past all the crimes he committed. Is it so hard to ask for? He didn't know, but at that moment, he became unaware of the salty tears that were quietly falling down his face.

* * *

The remainder of the day passed by without anymore emotional breakdowns. Lovino felt drained from the constant thinking of everything going on in his life that he wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep. However, due to the incompetence of the two idiots this morning, he needs to make a quick stop to collect some money from Sadik.

He sluggishly opened his car before heavily sitting down in the driver's seat. He pinches the bridge of his nose prior to starting up the car. Feli had after school band practice, so he would be here for another two hours. As he began pulling out of the school parking lot, three idiots dart out in front of him. With a slam on the breaks, he rolls down his window, ignoring the frigid weather burning his face.

"Watch where you're running, you idiotas!"

"Is that Lovino?"

Upon hearing his name, he finally got a look at who they were. It was Gilbert Beilschmidt, the potato head's brother. His abnormal snow white hair and striking red eyes set the perfect portrait for the type of person he is. An abnormal junkie who enjoys women and guns, an all out troublemaker.

Then there is Francis Bonnefoy, the matchmaker of the school. He has blonde, wavy hair tied back into a small ponytail. He is very charming when it comes to the girls at school, they say his blue eyes are like sapphires. However, the way he acts around guys and girls alike can be somewhat questionable.

Finally, there's Antonio Carriedo Fernandez, the oblivious one of the three. He was always the rambunctious one. His brown, curly hair always looks wild, almost as if he has never put a brush to his hair once in his life. His eyes are a forrest green, filled with astonishment to everything they land on.

"Yes, it is me, stupido. Now, get the hell out of my way!" Lovino shouted.

"Why are you always so angry? I was only trying to say hi, you insufferable dolt." Gilbert shouted back, with a hint of annoyance in his tone.

Lovino rolled his eyes before flicking the middle finger in his direction. Gilbert stayed positioned in front of his car, arms crossed in front of his leather jacket. Francis and Antonio were already to the side before Francis walks over to Gilbert lightly placing a hand on his shoulder, receiving a shrug in return.

"That's it." Lovino turned off his car before stepping out into the brisk fall evening, his hands clenched. Gilbert stood there glaring at the Italian as he approached him. "Get the hell out of my way. I don't have the time or patience for this, you potato bastard."

Gilbert didn't respond, instead he grabbed Lovino by the collar making him face-to-face with him. Lovino didn't flinch to the sudden action, just remained calm staring daggers at Gilbert, who gladly returned them back. Francis was the one who broke the thick tension between the two, shattering the silence around them.

"Oh mon amis, why must we always argue? It was a misunderstanding, Lovino, you must know by now how Gilbert is only trying to be nice to you."

"Si! Lets not fight over something as minor as this, amigos!"

Now, Francis and Antonio were on each side of them ready to act if things turn for the worse; however, Gilbert released Lovino before scoffing. Lovino fixed his shirt, completely absent minded to the darkness that began surrounding their beings. Soon, Gilbert began walking away, not even looking at Lovino again. Francis sighed at the immaturity of his friend sometimes.

"I do apologize, Lovino. Gilbert isn't always like this, you know?" Francis bluntly stated, snapping Lovino out of his piercing gaze into Gilbert's back.

"I don't care, you French bastard. Next time he wants to fight, let him! Now excuse me, I don't have time for you idiotas!" He pushed past the two standing in front of him, only for someone to grab his arm. He turned to see Antonio standing there, his eyes didn't seem as bright as they were before. Instead, they glistened with a worrisome shine.

"Lovino, please don't keep pushing everyone away."

"Shut up," he mumbled.

"Gilbert only wants to be your friend, we all do. You always push us away. We're only trying to he-"

"I said, shut up!" Lovino pulled his arm away with such force, Antonio stumbled a little forward, only to meet a headbutt from Lovino. "You bastardo! Ti odio! Ti odio! Io vi odio tutti!" Antonio fell to the ground, holding his face. Being slightly taller than Lovino, his mouth was were the blow landed, causing his lip to bleed.

Lovino stormed off to his car before forcefully starting the engine, slamming his foot on the gas. Antonio and Francis quickly darted out of the way, eye's widened by the sudden change of events.

"I only want Lovino to see that not everyone fears him…"Antonio stated through bloody lips, eyes staring aimlessly in the direction where Lovino went.

"I know, mon ami. Gilbert tries to help as well; however, his work always falls too short from his temper clashing with Lovino's."

The two stood there, replaying all the events that led up to this one. Soon, the bitterness of the weather got the best of them, making them hurriedly race in the direction where Gilbert stormed off earlier.

* * *

Lovino recklessly drove home, the money he was supposed to obtain completely forgotten, as a new rage engulfed his head. He couldn't believe those idiots trying to make him into such a gullible person, someone who can easily be manipulated. 'No,' he thought. 'I will never, ever, let anyone close. I just want to...I want to…,' his mind became cloudy with a series of different emotions. He wanted to have friends, he really did. People who wanted his attention, his interaction, his whole being, but he knew he could never have them. He didn't obtain these scars that mark his body as a symbol of weakness, no, they were to show how strong he is by himself. 'No one will make a fool of me, Lov-"

Soon, red and blue lights flashed behind him, sirens blaring. With a quick glance in the rearview mirror, he let an irritated sigh escape his lips before pulling off to the side. He sat there looking at the open road ahead of him, wishing he could just drive carelessly on a never ending road, to never look back on this town or it's inhabitants, with a feeling of envy everytime he sees a blissful smile on their face. His mind is racing 100 miles a second, so many negatives of his life up until this point.

"You know, you were driving 30 over the speed limit. I'd like to see License and Registration, please?"

With a small sigh, he reaches over obtaining everything he needs from the glovebox. As the cop goes back to his car to check it through the system, Lovino rests his head on the steering wheel, mumbling a few words to himself.

"This is going to be a long night…"

* * *

Once the cop finally lets him go, he sends a quick text to Sadik, pertaining the money situation. It is already a quarter after 8, so he should be home from his after school activities. A few seconds later, his phone vibrates.

 **Sadik: Yeah, I'm home. I have your money ready, so stop by soon before my roommates get home.**

Lovino threw his phone to the passenger seat before rubbing his eyes, he was exhausted from all the events today, the constant thinking of everything and anything in his life. He sat there with his head back, his eyes shut and everything quite. Until his phone went off once more, this time it was from Feliciano.

 **Feli: Hey fratello, I heard from Ludwig you got into a fight with Gilbert again. Is everything alright?**

Lovino snatched his phone quickly replying.

 **Yes Feli, everything is peachy. Are you home?**

 **Feli: Yeah, I just got home. But fratello, you never tell me anything. I wanna know what's wrong with you, and why you're always fighting with Gilbert.**

 **It's nothing to be concerned about. Also, that potato bastard is the one who starts it, I have to stand my ground. Now, I'll be home in about an hour so make sure you find something to eat.**

With a quick toss to the passenger's seat once more, he ignored the vibration that came after it. His mind focused on getting his money and returning home so he can sleep this feeling of sadness and anger. After a few more seconds of thinking, he shakes his head while starting up his car, going in the direction of Sadik's house.

* * *

Lovino pulled up infront of the apartment complex ahead of him, he reached over into his bag on the floor in the back pulling out a 9mm, Smith & Wesson. He quickly tucked it into the back of his pants, opening his car door before stepping out, instantly forgetting his phone in the passenger seat which was flashing with two new messages.

He hates how stupid he is for not grabbing a heavier coat or even a scarf for that matter, since the temperature has dropped drastically with the sun put to rest. He shoves his hands into his pants pockets trying to keep them warm, he dreads the fact that Sadik's apartment complex is so far from the actual parking lot.

Upon reaching the front door, he finds his number along the mailbox before dialing the number the speaker. It rings once, twice, three times and then ends. He raises an eyebrow finding it suspicious that Sadik didn't answer, he reaches into his coat pocket to retrieve his phone, only to find it empty.

"Shit," he murmured. He quickly dials the number again, only to receive no response in return, He turns on his heel back to his car, but gets a swift punch to the face. He blunder backwards into the door with a loud thud. "What the fuck," he goes to grab the gun in his pants to have his arms yanked upward.

"So, you're Lovino Vargas? I've heard many wonderful things about you," the man before him smirked. His face is concealed with a black mask, making his piercing gold eyes and mouth the only visible features.

Lovino struggled to get out of his grip, but the man before him was built like a wall. He wouldn't budge, just remained holding Lovino's arms above his head.

" .Fuck. ?" Lovino stressed, enuciating every syllable in his sentence. However, he felt a sudden punch in the stomach, causing blood to splatter all over the perpetrator in front of him. He coughed profusely, cursing his lung problems that he obtained over the year. Blood filled his mouth, brimming over his lips as it dripped to the concrete ground. Suddenly, he felt a warm oozy feeling running down his torso, with a hesitant glance downward, he saw it. A knife protruding from where he thought the punch landed. "Who.."more blood was coughed up,"Who are you, you bast-" A sudden series of coughs began wracking his entire body.

"You're so good looking even with blood all over those soft lips," the man leaned in swiftly stealing a kiss from the latter before him. He chuckled before letting Lovino's arms go, causing for him to fall with his back against the wall. "I'll see you around, Mr. Vargas. Well, that's if you make it past tonight."

And with those few words, he was gone into the darkness of the night. Lovino sat there motionless, trying to keep consciousness but the cold is eating away at his numbing body. He coughed more all over himself. He wanted to know how the world can be so cruel. Was the suffering he already endured not enough? His eyelids became heavy, he started drifting in and out of consciousness. 'Maybe, this is God granting my wish to just sleep forever..I wish I could have done more with my life..' He thought sadly. Before long, he lost all consciousness, but not before hearing his name being called out in the distance followed by approaching footsteps.

The world was black.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading this much longer chapter. I'm trying to get a good sense on how the direction this story should follow, so please, bare with me. Also, I'm aware the constant line breaks, I couldn't quite break things up the way I would have liked, so I do apologize in advance.**

 **Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the story, thus far. Please, if you have some criticism, I'm all ears. It's good to hear some ideas from other inspiring authors. At any rate, have a wonderful day everybody!**

 **Buona lettura!**


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